Film Review: “Vampires vs. the Bronx” Confirms Gentrifiers are Blood-sucking Monsters
Gentrification is not funny. Or, maybe it is? First used by German-British sociologist Ruth Glass, gentrification happens when a neighborhood’s character changes due to the sudden arrival of wealthy businesses and residents in the area. Though gentrification favors economic growth, it inadvertently pushes out the very people who made the community attractive to newcomers in the first place. You know, Black, Brown, Indigenous, and poor people. Several films and television shows address gentrification in their works, such as Gentefied and The Last Black Man in San Francisco. But it takes a special kind of creative to see gentrifiers as bloodsucking vampires. Along with producer Lorne Micheals, former Saturday Night Live segment director Osmany Rodriguez creates a very cheeky horror-comedy about a group of teens trying to stop a vampire coven from gentrifying their predominantly Black and Brown neighborhood in Vampires vs. the Bronx.
Scobby Doo meets Vampires in Brooklyn, Vampire vs. the Bronx follows bright teenager Miguel (adorably played by Jaden Michael) as he tries to save his beloved bodega by hosting a block party in his neighborhood. Fondly known as “Lil Mayor,” Miguel hopes to raise enough funds to prevent the bodega, which is owned by his father figure Tony (Joel "The Kid Mero" Martinez), from getting sold to a shady real estate company called Murnau Properties. Unfortunately, many of his fellow neighbors feel his event is a lost cause since Murnau Properties are buying up buildings from long-time residents throughout the Bronx and replacing them with businesses that cater to a wealthier, ahem, Whiter clientele. And on top of that, many Black and Brown residents are either "missing" or "moving" to the suburbs.
Not one to give up, Miguels hangs up flyers for his block party all across the Bronx, including at an abandoned courthouse turned luxury apartment complex called, you guessed it, Courthaus. While at the building, the young boy stumbles upon a vampire attack on a local drug dealer. This horrific incident prompts Miguel to recruit his best friends, troublemaker Bobby (Gerald W. Jones III) and resident horror nerd Luis (Gregory Diaz IV), to help him investigate the sudden appearance of vampires. Soon the teenagers discover that Murnau Properties is a front for an ancient vampire coven and that they are the only ones who can stop the blood-sucking invaders from taking over their neighborhood.
Rodriguez picks a fine group of young actors to play teenage vampire hunters Miguel, Bobby, and Luis. These kiddos are so adorable and telegenic they give Disney Channel stars a run for their money. In terms of performance, Michael carries Miguel’s penchant for taking charge all the way through. While Jones brings vulnerability and appeals to conflicted bad boy Bobby. And nerdy Diaz is just fun to watch as he enthusiastically states facts about vampires. But surprisingly, it is Martinez who brings the heart to the film. His character’s love and devotion to his surrogate sons make him positively relatable. And the neighbors add so much flavor. Like, who knew Cliff "Method Man" Smith can play a stern Catholic priest so well? That said, the vampire’s characterizations are bland. Sure, they serve their purpose as villains, but they mostly just lurk and snarl within the shadows. Granted, Sarah Gadon’s portrayal as perky vampire commander Vivian Tyrell is a treat. You can tell she enjoys playing the bad guy.
Vampires vs. the Bronx may not be laugh-out-loud funny, but it is entertaining to watch. Rodriguez and writer Blaise Hemingway cleverly remark on vampire lore while at the same time making fun of gentrification. For instance, the film highlights several easter eggs that reference the supernatural beings, including but not limited to the cult classic film Blade, Stephen King’s Salem’s Lot, and legendary vampire writer John William Polidori. Though some of these references may be hard to find, avid fans of the vampire genre will undoubtedly enjoy them. Rodriguez also notes how high-end businesses that move into working-class areas do not cater to long-time residents by hilariously giving these establishments ridiculous names like “Bone & Thread” and “Chauncey Vintage.” However, the cinematography needs some work. The dark undertones of the film are understandable, but it reads a little too dark. It will be nice to see the actors faces a tad bit more, particularly those with darker skin tones.
But what makes Vampires vs. the Bronx a good horror-comedy is how it tackles gentrification. Comparing gentrifiers to vampires is not only a bold move but makes perfect sense. Like gentrifiers, the vampires in the film suck the culture out of the Bronx, push out, or in this case, murder long-time residents, and create businesses that only cater to middle and upper-class White people. Not to mention, the vampires invade the Bronx because it is easier for them to move into an area where people do not care who disappears. Throughout the entire film, not one local official, police officer, or reporter question why people are suddenly disappearing in the Bronx. If the authorities did their job right, perhaps they may discover the vampire coven on their own. It has to take a group of teenage vampire hunters to get people to care about Black and Brown folks’ well-being. That in itself is problematic. And yet, it feels so real.
Vampire vs. the Bronx proves that sometimes the best way to handle a problem is to laugh at it in its face. Sure, Rodriguez’s film is not a game-changer like Jordan Peele’s magnum opus, Get Out, or HBO’s supernatural feat Lovecraft Country. But it is an entertaining horror-comedy that will convince you gentrifiers are bloodsucking monsters who feed off society.
